Friday, February 17, 2012

If I could just plan this out

If I could just plan this whole birth thing out,
it would be perfect.
Here is the order I'm putting into my prayers:
March 17: Pick my mom up from the airport
Have a fun afternoon, serve her a nice dinner, give Beck lots of kisses
and go to bed.
Middle of the night, wake up to my water breaking and labor!
Hustle to the hospital, have baby boy early Sunday morning.
Spend two wonderful days in the hospital with Beck and Mom visiting sparatically,
and I would know Beck was as happy as can be with Mimi at home.
Then on Tuesday morning we would bring baby brother home
Chase could take one more day off of work
and we would enjoy my mom's love and help for another week. 
Sounds great huh? 
Do you think if I pray hard enough Heavenly Father would deliver?

I'm positive that it doesn't work like that.  At all.
Too bad. 
I am going crazy not being able to plan this thing out though.
If I learned anything from delivering Beck (10 days early because of preeclampsia)
It was that these babies don't really come on our time.

Knowing that, I have spent hours wondering and worrying about the logistics of it all.
What if he comes before my mom gets here?
What do we do with Beck?
I am sure he would be happy enough staying with someone for a couple of days while we are at the hospital.
But I am just imagining Beck coming to see us and meet his brother
and then wondering why he is leaving us there.
I have these torturous worries that he would somehow think we had abandoned him.
Would it be better for him to just not come to the hospital at all?
That way he doesn't have to see us and then leave again?
But then he doesn't meet his new brother for two whole days?!
Am I thinking this through to much?

Then of course there are the worries about going into labor
What if my labor comes really quickly?
Even though I was induced with Beck, I had a very short labor.
My mom almost had her babies in the car because it was so fast.
Chase could be an hour away for work-
would I have to drive myself to the hospital, after figuring out what to do with Beck?
I guess this is one of those situations where I will have to rely on those around me for help.
It is hard for me to ask for help though.
Since we moved here I have been praying that we would make friends that we could trust like family. 
...friends that I know would be willing to help out if the need arose.
Even though we have only been here 7 months,
I know that those people are around us.
I just have to be humble enough to ask.

Well- I've been rambling out my thoughts for too long now.
Its not that I haven't learned over and over again
 that my plans are never has good as what the Lord has in store.
I just need to rein my poor pregnancy hormones in a bit and remind myself:
it will all work out!
It will.
33 1/2 weeks pregnant (I am 35 1/2 weeks along now)

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Megan Jacobsen said...

You are so beautiful Leah! Somehow it will work out I just know it! And beck will just be so excited and anxious to bring his brother home! I wish I were there to help too! I can't wait to see all your updates.

jenifer said...

It will work out miraculously! It ALWAYS does. Don't worry about beck- he will be fine and so excited! i always have to remind myself that God's plans are better than my plans. Love ya!

Jonny-Liz said...

YES, it will all work out!! :) There are lots of people here so willing to help-including us! Please call me whenever you need anything! Also, don't forget that I have spring break starting March13th-so I will be home all day to watch Beck in case your little guy comes early.

Taryn said...

This is one of those times that living away from family is so hard! I am just going to echo what everyone else has already said (and what you already know!) and say that it does all work out. Eliza came at the one time I swore she just could NOT come, and you know what it all worked out perfect! I remember the feelings of stress and doubt well, however! I am so excited for you to have another little babe. I have LOVED having two and feel like it has just made my love for motherhood and my love for Stella grow so much. Hang in there girl!!!

Aaron and Elizabeth Jensen said...

I remember trying to get that all planned when we had Madie. It was a lot easier with the first when you didn't have another one to worry about. James didn't even come to the hospital because Madie was in the NICU and we knew it would be too confusing for him to come see Mom and then have to leave so we just waited until we came home and he could actual meet her. Somehow it all works out though. Good luck!