Its the little things

Its the little things that bring me the most happiness.

Its walks in afternoon sun holding my husband's hand

Its in my two year old's zest for life

Its in his love of experimenting and learning what happens when he does this or that

Its in the gummy grins of my newborn

Its in the late night snuggles with my hubby

Its taking a nap and opening my eyes to this sight:

Its watching him gain self esteem

Its the fact that my lap is ever occupied

Its in fresh summery meals

Its in those quiet moments

when the babes are sleeping peacefully

Its in the giggles and screaches of excitment

its in the homefromwork greetings

Its in the self styled outfits

It comes from sweet babies, needing me

and walks in the warm summer air.

Its in those chubby cheeks!!

and in the memories we're creating

Its in having the best dad for my kiddos

and its in recognizing every day

(and thanking God)

 that I have been blessed with way more than enough to keep me happy for eternity.

If I could just plan this out

If I could just plan this whole birth thing out,

it would be perfect.

Here is the order I'm putting into my prayers:

March 17: Pick my mom up from the airport

Have a fun afternoon, serve her a nice dinner, give Beck lots of kisses

and go to bed.

Middle of the night, wake up to my water breaking and labor!

Hustle to the hospital, have baby boy early Sunday morning.

Spend two wonderful days in the hospital with Beck and Mom visiting sparatically,

and I would know Beck was as happy as can be with Mimi at home.
Then on Tuesday morning we would bring baby brother home
Chase could take one more day off of work
and we would enjoy my mom's love and help for another week. 
Sounds great huh? 
Do you think if I pray hard enough Heavenly Father would deliver?

I'm positive that it doesn't work like that.  At all.
Too bad. 
I am going crazy not being able to plan this thing out though.
If I learned anything from delivering Beck (10 days early because of preeclampsia)
It was that these babies don't really come on our time.

Knowing that, I have spent hours wondering and worrying about the logistics of it all.

What if he comes before my mom gets here?

What do we do with Beck?

I am sure he would be happy enough staying with someone for a couple of days while we are at the hospital.

But I am just imagining Beck coming to see us and meet his brother

and then wondering why he is leaving us there.

I have these torturous worries that he would somehow think we had abandoned him.

Would it be better for him to just not come to the hospital at all?

That way he doesn't have to see us and then leave again?

But then he doesn't meet his new brother for two whole days?!

Am I thinking this through to much?

probably.

Then of course there are the worries about going into labor

What if my labor comes really quickly?

Even though I was induced with Beck, I had a very short labor.

My mom almost had her babies in the car because it was so fast.

Chase could be an hour away for work-

would I have to drive myself to the hospital, after figuring out what to do with Beck?

AHH!! 

I guess this is one of those situations where I will have to rely on those around me for help.

It is hard for me to ask for help though.

Since we moved here I have been praying that we would make friends that we could trust like family. 

...friends that I know would be willing to help out if the need arose.

Even though we have only been here 7 months,

I know that those people are around us.

I just have to be humble enough to ask.

Well- I've been rambling out my thoughts for too long now.

Its not that I haven't learned over and over again

 that my plans are never has good as what the Lord has in store.

I just need to rein my poor pregnancy hormones in a bit and remind myself:

it will all work out!

It will.

Right?

33 1/2 weeks pregnant (I am 35 1/2 weeks along now)

Kansasians.

Why hello dear friends!

I have missed this here blog.

As you might have guessed, life has been crazy.

But also I just haven't had much access to the internet for blog posting purposes.

I still don't have my computer set up, or my camera cord,

so for now, Instagram pics will have to suffice.

(If you have an I-phone, find me on Instagram! Lifelovesleah)

We are officially Kansasians- or Kansans (as they officially say)

August was kind of a hard month.

Chase was halfway across the country working his tail off,

coming home to an empty house and fridge every night

(Poor guy didn't even have a chair)

Little Beck spent the month yearning for his daddy and not letting momma out of his sight.

He could tell things were in transition, and it made him uneasy.

I (and the little peanut inside my belly) spent the month:

trying to convince myself that I had the energy to chase around a (really cute) toddler

and pack and clean a house that was way too big for us.

But in all reality, those tasks were sooo taxing on a first trimester woman.

Luckily, we had some really fun visitors to distract me

(Love you Preston and Quinn and Kaela!)

We also got to rendevoux with my honey and family in Oklahoma

which was sooo fun! 

After 6 months of this (not really, but it felt like it)

Chase flew back and we had lots of help with the finishing touches of moving.

Thanks Jalincoln, Woodbriar friends, Jade, etc etc etc

My dear Mom and Kaela even drove all the way across the country to help

LOVE YOU guys!!!

On August 24 we made the long trek to Kansas

(for the second time that month)

Our trusty Uhaul treated us well,

and besides a minor incident of locking the keys in the Uhaul,

we got to Kansas City in one piece!

Since then we've just slowly but surely been making our little apartment a home.

It is definetly a (ten) step down from "the estate"

as we lovingly called Chase's parent's home that we were tending in utah,

But, it does the job. 

We do miss everyone though.

It still hasn't totally hit me that we moved.

I still think to call my sister in law to hang out

before realizing she is a ways away.

I miss my parents like I haven't seen them in months,

even though if we still lived it Utah it would have

 probably gone this long before visits.

We are happy with our new life so far though.

Chase likes his new job

(same company, new job)

Beck is thrilled to have both parents again,

and I couldn't be happier to have my Chase back.

and now a few pics from our life in Utah

 for my viewing pleasure:

Its a confusing thing

Last week, as a last minute decision,

Beck and I drove to Kansas City with Chase.

We decided it was safer than him driving 15+ hours by himself,

and that way I could find housing and then fly home in a week.  

All along the way,

it was reaffirmed to us that we were making the right decision.

Heavenly Father was clearly watching out for us.

First,

we got pulled over for going 88 in a 75,

(with out-of-state plates, and no current proof of insurance, I might add)

The cop didn't give us a ticket.

We must have looked a little battle worn after 12 hours in the car-haha!

Then, in Nebraska with at least 2 hours to go,

two of the highways we had to take were closed due to flooding. 

We had already driven 50 miles down one before we realized it was closed at the end.  :(

We pulled over-mulling over our options,

which were slim since we had NO idea what kind of alternate route to take.

We decided to ask directions when another car pulled up to the "Road Closed" baricade.

As luck (or more) would have it, they were going to Kansas City too!!

Seriously, what are the chances?!

For the next hour we followed them through whinedy Nebraska roads,

not a house or gas station in sight. 

As our gas gauged ticked lower and lower, we started to really worry.

Even if we did randomly come across a gas station

we would lose our guide if we had to pull over to refuel,

and we would be stuck again.

Just in the knick of time and prayers

we found gas, and our friends in the car ahead needed some too.

WHEW!!! was the general feeling in our car.

It turns out that the car we were following were the nicest couple, about our age.

Heather, the sweet wife,

INSISTED on getting my number and showing me around town when we got to Kansas City.

She said they moved to the city a few years back

and someone helped them find a place to live in the good areas of town.

It was clear that this couple was put in our path for a reason.

I'll never forget their kindess!!!

Finally, around midnight, after twenty hours in the car

we made it to Kansas City. 

The next morning when we started the car, our air conditioning wouldn't work.

We had fixed it right before our long drive,

 and it kept us nice and cool as we drove across the country.

It really was a miracle that it didn't stop the day before.

After three mechanics, we realized there was no solution but to put in a new compressor.

$800 dollars later,

we were still feeling blessed that it happened once we were in Kansas,

and not along the way.

Emotions are crazy things. 

Even though I knew from the beginning that this move was right for us,

it didn't make me mourn the loss of my life here any less.

I still sort of wished the right thing would be for us to stay here,

with familiarity and those we love.

That being said,

it took less than two days of being in KC for me to start envisioning our life there.

The people are so nice.

The drivers will let you in if you put your blinker on

(UNLIKE MEAN UTAH DRIVERS!)

We found a great place to live in a darling subburb of Kansas City.

Everything we could ever need is within a few minutes drive,

and downtown is a mere 15 minutes away with lots to see and do.

We went to our new ward yesterday (aka church congregation)

and we immedietly felt at home.

It is amazing how quickly I could go from being sad to leave Utah,

to counting down the days to start our new life in Kansas City.

I am so grateful for a compassionate Father in Heaven.

Now let the mayhem begin!

Chase is still in Kansas/Missouri working

and Beck and I will join him at the end of the month.

Between now and then we'll be doing a lot of packing, cleaning,
a heckofalota missing Chase,

and a trip to Oklahoma that we already had planned.

fun fun fun!

I'm actually glad that I don't have complete control of life.

That would be a lot of pressure.

Instead, I know I have a Heavenly Father who is guiding and directing me.

He sees the map when I'm doing my best to "guess and check" my way through life,

 trying to weave my way through the maze as best I can.

Its a good thing I have a Heavenly Father to lead the way,

as long as I'm willing to follow.

and, I AM!

Remember almost 2 years ago when we had to drop everything and move to Utah?

It was so terrifying to make that choice so quickly, and completely based on faith.

My Father in law always says that tough times are to help us expand our capacity.

To somehow get us ready for bigger and better things ahead.

Looking back on our experience moving to Utah,

I can now see how that was a major preparation for later in life.

It has been a heck of a week for us. 

All good, but seriously, CRAZY.

Last week we were all packed up and ready to head out the door to go to Lagoon

(a local amusement park)

The babysitter was all prepped and was already playing with Beck.

Just as we were leaving,

 I had the impression to take a pregnancy test before riding roller coasters.

Low and behold,

WE ARE PREGNANT! 

Beck's little brother or sister will be joining our family in March.

We are thrilled!

It probably shouldn't have been,

but it was such a surprise to us!

I literally walked from the bathroom to the counter 6 times-

checking and rechecking to make sure I was reading the results correctly.

It took so much time and effort to get pregnant the first time

 that we were sure it was going to be the same this time

What a relief that it came so easily!

It was nice to be able to take Beck to Lagoon since I wasn't going to be riding rides anymore.

Our babysitter was officially the first person who knew the news!

As if finding out we are pregnant wasn't enough,

we made a huge decision this week.

WE ARE MOVING TO KANSAS CITY!

Yes, that is correct.

It hasn't quite hit us yet,

but we ABSOLUTELY know it is right for our family.

The craziest part is how fast this all happened.

On Wednesday as Chase was leaving work

 he got an email that one of the best sales areas in the company had an open position.

This is a pretty big deal. 

He called and told me about it and I said

"Where is Kansas City?  Kentucky?"

( I knew there was one in Kansas, but I didn't know where the other one was)

The next morning Chase had a skype interview, followed by a second interview.

a couple hours later, a third.

Within 24 hours of hearing about the possiblilty,

 they offered Chase the job! 
I am so proud of my man.
He knows what he wants and he MAKES IT HAPPEN!

It was a pretty weapy day as we contemplated if we should accept or not.

The thought of leaving so many people we love is heartbreaking.

We have a wonderful life in Utah.

Surrounded by family, and a half a days drive from more.

free rent, a ward full of amazing examples.

Utah is home.

We have always said that home is where our little family is though,

no matter the location.

So, ready?

Set.

GO!

Chase leaves early Monday morning for the long corn-y drive to Kansas

I get to pack up the house by myself

while chasing around a toddler

and (hopefully not) dealing with morning sickness

and then clean the house,

all by myself. 

Its ok though, because like I told Chase this morning,

I am super woman, so I will make it happen.

It is clear to us that Heavenly Father prepared us for the change.

With such a huge decision, made so quickly,

we should be terrified.

Thanks to the power of prayer,

we feel peace that it is the right decision.

Who would have ever guessed that we would have a Kansas baby!

I guess our next adventure begins!

Mark this day in history

...or at least in my family's scrapbook.  ;-)

Our little man got his first haircut today.

He didn't mind it, but he had this expression like

"What the heck is going on here?"

Once Daddy got him to giggle, he relaxed and started enjoying it



Although I think he looks absolutely adorable,

I may be mourning the loss of the shaggy baby hair just a little.

Before                                                                         After

On another note. We got home and saw this when we looked out the window.

the Sunset.

it gets me every time. 

I know how cheesy this sounds,

but it always seems like a beautiful sunset 

ushers in a change,

ever so gently,

just for me.

my baby is growing up, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Sometimes life is hard

I must admit, at the current moment, my life isn't very hard.

We're just plugging away, enjoying life.

I know that it isn't always like this though.

I have dear friends and family dealing with hard things.

not hard as in, stress-inducing changes.

Hard as in, the death of a parent or child,

terrible accidents leaving them paralyzed
divorce in their twenties. addictions.

severe financial struggles. depression.

My heart aches for these people.

Although I may struggle with how to comfort and reach out to them,

(what do I say that is sensitive and comforting????)

I truly do worry and ponder and pray sincerely for them.

I just can't imagine how difficult it would be to experience something like that.

Life is hard sometimes.  Really hard.

If nothing else,
watching horrible things happen in the world around me teaches me this:
gratitude. 

I hope I never take my blessings for granted. 

those quiet moments with my little one,

(excuse the messy room-Beck just had an "emptying drawers" session)

Watching my son and husband interact,

 giggling and being silly with little ones,

and on and on and on (and on)
It teaches me that even when things get a little (or a lot) crazy
we can always find the good in the world.
and on a smaller level; I can find lots of good in my world.

I have found that if I am looking,
I can find more happiness than sadness (times a million)
Right now,
many, many of my loved ones are experiencing amazing things.

adoption, (of the cutest baby boy I might add)

much-anticipated pregnancies and births, and

world-wide adventures sharing their testimony of Christ

So next time I feel like my life is hard because of those

stressful life occurances

like having to spend $600 on new tires :(

I hope I can remember how blessed I really am.

really random thoughts...hope thats ok with you.

My Chase is home from a business trip.  I feel kind of cool saying that,

because finally, he has a job that feels like a good fit. 

And it seems like a pretty legitimate job if you have "business trips" right?

Oh man.  I'm SOOOOO glad to have him back.  I missed that guy. a lot!

picture taken Feb 2011

Do you know what was really weird though? 

Last night we were phone chatting and it was as bright as day here, and already pitch dark in Indianapolis. 

I just think that is crazy.

It was a great reminder of how small our planet is compared to the sun. 

...how small I am compared to the planet. 

Sometimes it is easy to get so wrapped up in life

that you forget that the world doesn't revolve around you.  er, me. 

image by http://www.stockvault.net/photo/113055/crystal-globe-in-hand

Sometimes, (not often enough) I look at a stranger, I mean, really look-
and remember that they are  just as much of a person inside as I am. 



They have as deeply felt emotions as I do. 
They have a life, and people surrounding them. 
They might have a husband and kids of their own
or maybe they live alone, and have their very own routine every night. 

They might as well be on a different planet, because my "world" is totally different from theirs. 
I see the people I see every week.
I go to the same places.
I eat the same types of food.

and even though they live just down the street,
we may as well be on a different planet
-for how connected our lives are.

That is just weird to me.
It does remind me to be compassionate when I see that strange lady
who cut in line at the grocery store and pretended she had no idea.
Maybe she's dealing with something really hard that day.

I hope I can be more empathetic to others. 
To judge a little less.
to love a little more.

and with that, I'm going to take my baby outside to enjoy the SUNSHINE!!!! 

xoxo!!

Merry Christmas!

Last night after driving 9 hours home from Boise (crazy snow!), I lay in my bed  and couldn't fall asleep.
 I felt overwhelmed with gratitude for life's blessings.
 The drive home was long and scary.  It could have been bad with a nine month old who hates being in his carseat, not to mention how dangerous the roads were. Beck was an angel though.    Being at home for Thanksgiving was extra special this year for some reason.  Even though we spent 182,000 hours watching college football, with results that I don't even want to talk about-it still felt so good to be home with my parents and Kaela and Garrett (AKA Gaela or Karrett, take your pick) 
Honestly. I have so much to be grateful for. 

One of my favorite parts about Thanksgiving is that it really opens the season for Christmas!  We are going to put up our Christmas decorations tonight.  With the help of this book, I am going to work on making this Christmas season about Christ. 

So, here are two videos.  Both to open up the season for you all. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LFb3UBiNoM

October 21, 2009

Have you ever woken up one morning and just felt something different in the air?

We had been married three years. Three wonderful, happy, capacity expanding years.

I first sensed it when our baby boy patted me good morning from the inside. I realized that this would be our last anniversary as just "us". ...a little bitter sweet, but mostly sweet.

Then I felt it again when I was driving to work-and this is what I saw.

I could feel it. With this sunrise came change.

I thought I was going to another day of work, and then we'd go to California to celebrate a sunrise in my sister's life, and we'd come back and I'd go to work again and Chase and I would keep living our lives...and it would change day by day, bit by bit.

I like change, I really do. But I like to anticipate it.

I like to ponder it, prepare for it, ready myself.

Then let the change ease itself in...

and its always a little hard leaving the old behind,

but the new is so exciting...a new adventure that brings more growth.

Sometimes it doesn't happen that way though.

Sometimes its sudden, and shocking, and it feels like you've got no control.

That kind of change is a lot harder to deal with.

But then you realize that you have a Heavenly Father who has a plan.

Not just for all of his children. for MY family. for ME.

He knows what is in store for us. And it is always wonderful-

better than we could choose for ourselves. Better than we can imagine.

But it is hard to give up that control sometimes. At least for me.

Sometimes we have to take a step forward.

into the shadows,

knowing that I don't have to see what is ahead

if I step in the direction Heavenly Father wants me to step.

So we did. Chase and I decided that it was time to be willing to do what Heavenly Father wanted...which we were always willing to do.

BUT we had to be willing to follow Him without seeing how it would work out.

Where will we live?

Where will Chase work?

What about the wonderful family we have in Boise?

What about the job/internship we have here?

What about our apartment in Boise?

Health insurance?

and on and on and on.

So we gave up trying to answer all of those questions before making a decision.

We had to excersise FAITH

and it was scary.

One day I was sitting in my office in Kyle's garage,

thinking of the redbox we'd pick up that night and what groceries I would buy for lunch.

The next day I was in Salt Lake City with no idea what we were doing or how it would work out.

But I knew that it would.

And it did.

Within three days I got a well paying job in Salt Lake that couldn't be more perfect,

we worked the details of leaving our Boise job with our wonderful boss (my brother),

Chase got hired at a Commercial Real Estate firm with salary and benefits (YAY!)

we've got a roof over our heads,

all the bills got paid,

and lots of family who love us.

But most of all, a Heavenly Father who blesses us

with more than we could even think to ask for

Life is good. Change is scary...

but so worth it.

Goodbye to our happy six months in Boise.

We loved living by and working with family

We loved the late, light summer evenings playing softball

We loved dinner and football at Mom and Dad's

We loved ditching work to swim in the pool

and watching Penny and Bear wrestle all day.

We loved watching Tayler grow and being around to help her do it.

We loved learning what we learned.

We'll be back to visit soon.

Thanks for everything Mom, Dad, Kaela, Kyle, Jade, and Tayler.

Love you, miss you.

Goodnight to yesterday,

Good morning to the sunrise

and a new day.

Grateful

Holidays are for family, sharing your love, and expressing gratitude for your blessings.

Tonight gratitude for a wonderful family has been on my mind.

I was blessed to be born into the most amazing family.

My parents made so many sacrifices throughout my life to ensure that we had a close family bond.

There is nothing more important in this life than our family.

Friends (even close ones) come and go

but it is our family that is really there when life gets hard,

when you need someone to turn to.

Even though I don't get to see all of my brothers and sisters very often,

they mean to world to me and I miss them so much.

Most of my brothers and sisters live far away.

Tiffini and John live in New York City,

Brian and Thip and Matt and Dara live in Texas,

Kyle and Jade are in Eagle right around the corner from my parents, and Kaela lives in Logan.

I wish that we all lived closer together so that we could see eachother more often.

When we get together there is lots of laughter, basketball, football watching, delicious food, "friendly debating", and teasing.

It doesn't look like we're all going to get together this Thanksgiving or Christmas, but they will all be on my mind. Love you guys!!The sisters minus Dara at Matt and Dara's wedding June 2006

The brothers-Brian, Kyle, Matt